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Old 06-30-2010, 02:17 AM   #21
JazzieAussie
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It actually seems like cohabitation might end up doing the opposite of what's intended. Because of that extra investment in the relationship, couples may end up staying together longer than they should and would have otherwise -- just because there'd be that much of a greater loss in breaking it off. That's not to say people don't generally do the same in typical relationships and prefer to avoid disrupting what's become familiar to them, but it just seems much more likely to be the case with cohabitation.

And while it still might be indicative, I agree that there are definitely other factors in play that would be more fundamental than "cohab=divorce." It's funny to finally learn where those statistics came from, though. XD
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Marriage isn't real. The only reason people get married is because they feel it makes their relationship 'official'. It only makes them feel committed because they believe that's what marriage represents. If they need a big party and some fancy piece of paper to make them feel commitment, fine, let them have it. Not everyone needs that. I think that planning your future together and the years of your life you've spent loving and standing by your partner serves as testament of your commitment to each other. Once you believe that marriage is pointless.
Marriage intends to make a relationship "official," yes, but I think the emphasis is meant to be on the permanently part. Or at least it used to. With divorce becoming as prominent as it has, I can certainly understand why it wouldn't seem to hold much significance anymore in many cases. ):


But yeah. Cohabitation seems like a bad idea (even just psychologically), and I have moral objections against it. And I'm just more of a traditionalist, anyway.

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Annnnd in the sense that morality has a place in this topic, I'm curious as to the moral standards of having a roommate to share the costs of an apartment?
Seeing as how it's in a different context, it doesn't really seem like it'd be a matter of morality. Rooming with a stranger would probably only be unwise, and rooming with a friend could be comparable to living with a sibling. Or something like that.
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Old 06-30-2010, 01:39 PM   #22
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Marriage intends to make a relationship "official," yes, but I think the emphasis is meant to be on the permanently part. Or at least it used to. With divorce becoming as prominent as it has, I can certainly understand why it wouldn't seem to hold much significance anymore in many cases. ):
Why do you have to have a wedding to make a relationship official to yourselves? Why isn't your word enough? Is it because you're saying you want to be together forever in front of tons of people? I would want someone to stay with me because they love me and don't want to give up on our relationship, not because they feel obligated to try and make it work.

(just for the record I'm not against marriage, I want to get married one day. I don't see marriage as some contract but more as a celebration of finding someone to share your life with and the joining to two families.)

I see the higher divorce rates as being caused by woman's rights more then anything else. That's not to say I'm blaming woman, but I still think its the underlying cause. Today woman have more opportunities and confidence then they ever had before and I think that's good. A woman can very easily make it on her own, however that wasn't always the case. There used to be very little opportunities for woman and they were very dependent on their husbands to survive and society encouraged them to be submissiveness. This submissiveness led to less conflict in a marriage and even if she thought to leave her husband it was difficult for her to do so.
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:09 PM   #23
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Slurpz move in with me!
DONE.
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Old 06-30-2010, 06:20 PM   #24
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Seeing as how it's in a different context, it doesn't really seem like it'd be a matter of morality. Rooming with a stranger would probably only be unwise, and rooming with a friend could be comparable to living with a sibling. Or something like that.
And then, they get into a relationship!
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Old 06-30-2010, 06:39 PM   #25
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Why isn't your word enough? Is it because you're saying you want to be together forever in front of tons of people?


I see the higher divorce rates as being caused by woman's rights more then anything else. That's not to say I'm blaming woman, but I still think its the underlying cause. Today woman have more opportunities and confidence then they ever had before and I think that's good. A woman can very easily make it on her own, however that wasn't always the case. There used to be very little opportunities for woman and they were very dependent on their husbands to survive and society encouraged them to be submissiveness. This submissiveness led to less conflict in a marriage and even if she thought to leave her husband it was difficult for her to do so.

The lot's of people at a wedding came from back when people would get married for political reasons. You needed to have lot's of witnesses so if the authenticity was challenged, you have a few people to back you up. Also with those marriages. If there was someone to object to that marriage you'd probably have a few friends handy with a sword. That's where the best man came from. He's placed so that he could protect the couple if somebody tried to rush the altar.

Back in the day, when women stayed in the kitchen at home. It was seen that if your wife had a job that you where a horrible man that couldn't support your family. So the women where forced to stay home. They had to stay in the marriages because if they left they'd have to get a job. When you have no previous work experience, all you'd be able to get is minimum wage.Which would be not that much :(. Same time they most likely wouldn't have any higher of an education than highschool( even that). You would have only gone to college to meet a man.Thankfully society has moved forward and women are more active in the workplace, and have higher educational standards. They'd be able to support themselves much better.
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Old 06-30-2010, 06:44 PM   #26
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Erm, why don't we have those weddings anymore?
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:00 PM   #27
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Erm, why don't we have those weddings anymore?
Times have changed and people want the big party. Those reality TV shows like "rich bride Poor bride, Bridezilla, Say yes to the dress" are all fueling the "be better than the Jones' " fire. It adds more stress to the marriage becuase you start out in debt, because you spend all sorts of money on a party and a dress you'll only wear once!

PS: I'd soooo wanna sword at my wedding<3
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:08 PM   #28
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Cohabitation is extremely different from having sex. You can have either in isolation from the other.

Personally, I am living in a student house that holds nine, one of which is my boyfriend. For the summer, we basically have the house to ourselves. I do not see this being a factor in destroying our relationship. If anything, I support cohabitation in that you get to learn about your partner's bad habits, and whether or not you can adapt to or accept them. On the other hand, I can see cohabitation being detrimental if your lives merge together as a result. That is, you spend every single minute together, everything you do outside of the house is in some way connected to your partner.

I think the function of marriage has warped over time. Originally, it may have been used to gaurantee the woman that the man will be there to support her when they have kids. 'Back in the day', women rarely had jobs, and could not support themselves.

Nowadays, I think society has caused marriage to become more of a convenience than anything. As other members have said, Marriage shouldn't be used to make a relationship 'official', it cannot be used to tie two people together permanently ---> this is the modern view of marriage, because its function has changed. Marriage in modern society, I think, gets you some financial benefits from the government. I say "I think", because I am not at all knowledgeable with this regard.
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:21 PM   #29
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Cohabitation is extremely different from having sex. You can have either in isolation from the other.

I think the function of marriage has warped over time. Originally, it may have been used to gaurantee the woman that the man will be there to support her when they have kids.

Nowadays, I think society has caused marriage to become more of a convenience than anything. As other members have said, Marriage shouldn't be used to make a relationship 'official', it cannot be used to tie two people together permanently ---> this is the modern view of marriage, because its function has changed. Marriage in modern society, I think, gets you some financial benefits from the government. I say "I think", because I am not at all knowledgeable with this regard.

True....cohabitation doesn't have to mean sex. It It depends on the person weither or not they partake in it beforehand. It's just that when people usually hear that a couple are living together they assume they are sharing a bed as well as an apartment.

Back further in the day. When people where concerned with " the family bloodlines" and such...marriage and chasity before marriage was done so that they could make sure that her children where your's. Virginity wasn't as important in the lower classes though. To a peasant farmer, a fertile wife was more important than a virgin wife.(Don't get me started on the topic of unwed mother's back in that day. Just be glad you live in this era)

Canadian Tax law has benefits for commonlaw spouse and marriage spouse. I can't remember the time frame for commonlaw marriage. You never know, under the law some people are married already!
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Old 06-30-2010, 08:03 PM   #30
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Pshh. Swordfight > party.

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Why do you have to have a wedding to make a relationship official to yourselves? Why isn't your word enough? Is it because you're saying you want to be together forever in front of tons of people?
So are funerals pointless, too? XD

I mean, yeah, I guess for people that attach no religious significance to it, it'd be mostly psychological. If nothing else, I guess weddings would bring everyone within the circle of acquaintance onto the same page, and allow them to hold the couple accountable. And give away toasters.
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And then, they get into a relationship!
ALREADY WERE. Called "roommate."
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