When I have children...

[Tuff Ghost]

I will frame their suicide notes.

[Chuck]

Do you want us to discuss anything or can I move this to the hideout? xD

[Tuff Ghost]

We're going to talk about what we'll do once we have children.

I will tell them laughter is the best medicine and is the only kind they will be getting.

[Yuri]

We'll celebrate orange day every Mondays.

[Snowmany]

I will teach them that red is blue, and green is yellow. I will omit the number 9 and teach them the alphabet backwards.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will hide under their beds and make noises during the night.

[MicroRave]

I'll wait 'til they're in college, then instruct them to carry on my personal tradition. Every day they can afford a chocolate bar will thereafter be called the feast of http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pngheads.

And I'll pretend not to know what 'allowance' means when they ask me for one.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will take their hands and slap them with them while repeatedly saying that they must stop hitting themselves.

[Stingray]

You said that.

I'll say "don't be stupid". Best advice you can give anyone.

[Crazy]

I'll name them Batman and Robin if enough people join my group on Facebook! hurrhurrhurr

[Laodocia]

When I have children, I will name them nice, original names, therefore never having the problem of that annoying kid sharing a name with them. They'll also get one of the walls in their bedrooms painted with that chalkboard paint, so they can draw all over it and not have to resort to expressing their artistic needs with crayons on the white walls.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will pretend to be an illiterate plumber when I attend bring your dad to work day.

[crystalmew]

I will name them Sushi and Rice.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will tell them that seashells house ear goblins.

[crystalmew]

I will tell them they came out of my armpit. Like my mom did to my brothers and me. :|

[Boy_Tomo_Chan]

Cut their hair.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will answer all of their questions, but only with lies.


I will teach them that holding grudges leads to long life.

[Twix]

I'm not having kids. Nope.

[elli_the_baker]

I will tell them that there are more nutrients in bread crust, so they will eat it.

LIKE MY PARENTS DID TO ME AND I DIDN'T FIND OUT UNTIL I WAS 19.

Also following in my parent's footsteps, every time they ask what is for dinner, it will be rhinoceros lips.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will make them tell me what they are thankful for as they are forced to watch me eat the entire Thanksgiving meal.

[Stingray]

I will tell them that there are more nutrients in bread crust, so they will eat it.

LIKE MY PARENTS DID TO ME AND I DIDN'T FIND OUT UNTIL I WAS 19.

Also following in my parent's footsteps, every time they ask what is for dinner, it will be rhinoceros lips.

That sounds better than what my dad always told me. He always said we were having http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.png on a shingle.

[danigurl]

That sounds better than what my dad always told me. He always said we were having http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.pnghttp://img299.imageshack.us/img299/4286/hamburgercensor.png on a shingle.

No way XD My dad used to say that ALL the time

[Tuff Ghost]

I will seal the promises of my love for them with snorts.

[Starrimaela]

I'll name my first son Jew, then Fettuccine.

Because I know a guy named Alfredo and I know many people named Christian.

=D

~Starr

[Tuff Ghost]

I will take their noses and no matter how much they cry I will never give them back.

[Starrimaela]

I'll give them condoms for their 13th birthday.

~Starr

[Tuff Ghost]

I will tell them to stop complaining and man up when they find a finger in their Wendy's chili.

[Starrimaela]

I will tell them that prostitutes make the most money...and fast.

~Starr

[Stingray]

If I have a daughter I will raise her to be a feminist.

[Starrimaela]

I will teach them to be straight-aphobic and like their own gender.

~Starr

[Stingray]

You can't teach that.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will tell them that dreams are nothing more than crutches for lazy people.

~Starr

[Starrimaela]

You can't teach that.

I know. But I'll teach them that until they are old enough to have attractions. Then, if they are straight, they will think everyone will hate them XD

~Starr

[Tuff Ghost]

I will curse them on my death bed.

[Starrimaela]

I will teach them to worship the devil.

~Starr

[Tuff Ghost]

I will haunt them in the afterlife.

[Innray]

I will tell them that neither Santa or the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny is real, and not to EVER, under ANY circumstances, let them believe anything anybody tells them unless its been proven at least 109 times.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will go to God on Satan's behalf as they await their fate at the pearly gates.

[Innray]

I will make their lives miserable, until the day they die, if they ever disobey me.

[Tuff Ghost]

I will spit on them when they cry up at me from the flames.

[Innray]

I will name them Wingspan, Banjo, and Octavian.

[Tuff Ghost]

*and a peaceful wind blew as the annoying presence left their midst*

[MicroRave]

I'll teach my kids that this is how you wave at people.

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/08/spock_3.jpg

[Tuff Ghost]

I will not spare the rod.

[Innray]

I'll teach my kids that this is how you wave at people.

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/08/spock_3.jpg

LOL

I will slap them everytime we pass a McDonald's in the car so that they don't associate "good times" with the scary clown guy.

[Ponyprincess]

....I would hate to have you guys as parents >.<


I will teach them that pink is the best colour.

[Vineyard Gurl]

I will eat them at birth...

[Tuff Ghost]

I will eat them at birth...

Dude :confuse:

[Ponyprincess]

Mine shall learn how to ride a horse before they can walk :D

[Vineyard Gurl]

Dude :confuse:

I jest, silly. I don't want children.

[Stingray]

I jest, silly. I don't want children.

that is one of the greatest things a woman can say.

[Tuff Ghost]

I jest, silly. I don't want children.But I want kids. :crying:

[Innray]

I'm going to make them listen only to William Hung and other bad singers from birth so they grow up thinking that it is good music and are then made fun of at school and in life in general.

[MicroRave]

I'll only give them a 25 cent allowance and see if they notice ::D:

[Tuff Ghost]

I'm going to make them listen only to William Hung and other bad singers from birth so they grow up thinking that it is good music and are then made fun of at school and in life in general.
Or you could have them grow up listening to good music and then they can get made fun of for not listening to Lady Gaga and Owl City. :amuse:

[MicroRave]

Or you could have them grow up listening to good music and then they can get made fun of for not listening to Lady Gaga and Owl City. :amuse:

Just watch if you have music on when they're in the womb. Whatever you listen to frequently, they remember, then drop everything when they hear it.

It's kinda creepy 0___0

[Innray]

Or you could have them grow up listening to good music and then they can get made fun of for not listening to Lady Gaga and Owl City. :amuse:

That's a much better idea. :)

[mickmon95]

I will spoil them till no end!!

[Toue]

I will tell them they are adopted.

[MicroRave]

I will tell them they are adopted.

Like this? ::D:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y31/Fredcat/Cats%2002/Cat-CatInBirthdayCakeYoureAdopted.jpg

[Toue]

If we replace the cat with their stripper mom then yes.

[Innray]

If we replace the cat with their stripper mom then yes.

That's scary. XD